Sweet Ruin
by AZBella07
Summary: AH Edward and Bella are married with two young children. A new neighbor causes Bella to question her life and choices. Will they overcome?
1. Chapter 1

_**Bella POV**_

"I spy with my little eye something green," Eddie shouted to his sister.

"A leaf!" Vanessa shouted back.

"Nope."

"Mama! Eddie is lying! The only green thing is the leaf," Vanessa complained loudly.

"I'm not lying. It's not the leaf…it was a piece of garbage on the highway, it was green," Eddie answered sarcastically.

"Eddie, would Vanessa been able to see that after you told her what you spied?" I asked.

"I don't think so."

"Then you weren't being fair, where you?"

"No, I guess not. Sorry Vanna," he apologized.

"S'okay, Eddie. Let's play again! It's my turn now!" Vanessa shouted, enthusiastic that she won the argument.

This was a typical afternoon. Edward insisted the children attend a private school in Franklin Heights, NJ but refused to let them take the bus or have the nanny pick them up. So, everyday at two-thirty in the afternoon I left the house and drove forty minutes to Franklin Heights to pick up the children. Then I would drive back home, in the beginnings of rush hour traffic, with two tired kids in tow. Some days were okay and the children would behave in the car, but days like today were more common. The constant bickering and fighting that would make me want to slam my head against the steering wheel, repeatedly.

Edward Jr., or Eddie as he preferred to be called nowadays, is eight years old. He's in the fourth grade and constantly brags that he really should be in third, but is so advanced they skipped him. He's so proud of himself I don't have the nerve to tell him that nobody likes a show-off. Eddie looks more like me with his curly brown hair and dark brown eyes. He's tall for his age but if he's really like me he'll stop growing early and everyone will shoot up past him. As much as he looks like me, he acts more like his father. He's self-confident, assured and a little bit bossy.

Vanessa is six years old and is in the first grade. She looks exactly like Edward with her straight bronze hair and sparkling emerald green eyes. However, she is much more like me in the personality department. She's quiet, shy and reserved. And she's clumsy, everyday she comes home with another bump, bruise or scratch.

"Hey, guys?" I called out to the kids.

"Yeah, Mom," Eddie answered.

"Do you want to come to the grocery store with me? Or do you want to go home and I'll have Mrs. Lacey come over and watch you?"

"Not Mrs. Lacey," Eddie groaned. "She treats me like a little kid."

"So, you want to come with me then?" I asked again.

"Yes!" Vanessa shouted.

"Okay, but I'm not buying any sweets or candy or junk. Okay?"

"Okay," the answered simultaneously.

I pulled into the parking lot of the Stop and Shop and we all got out of the car. I purchased everything I needed to make chicken parmesan, Edward's favorite, plus the candy and chips the kids threw in the cart. I was a sucker for a pouty face and a "pretty please", what can I say.

We got home and I sent the kids upstairs to change and get started on their homework before dinner was ready. It was almost five and Edward usually got home around five-thirty and wanted to eat no later than six. I started preparing dinner and when it was in the oven I walked upstairs to check on the kids. Eddie was lying on the floor with his math book and notebook sprawled out in front of him.

"How you doin', buddy?" I asked him.

"Fine. Fractions are so easy. I'll be done in no time," he informed me.

I walked into Vanessa's room and she was coloring a picture of a whale.

"Mommy, look at my picture? We learned about whales in school today and we had to color a picture and bring it back tomorrow. Isn't it pretty?" She held up her whale picture, she colored it pink with orange polka dots and there were sunglasses on top of its head.

"It's beautiful. I'm sure it'll be the most colorful whale in the class," I praised her with the right level of enthusiasm. She smiled back at me and went back to coloring.

I walked back downstairs and sat down at the kitchen table reading a magazine. With every second that ticked closer to Edward's arrival I grew impatient and aggravated.

Edward and I have been married for nine years. We met in high school in Forks, WA. I transferred to Forks from Phoenix in my junior year and Edward was my Biology partner. We were inseparable from day one. When we graduated we both went to Seton Hall in New Jersey together and we got married our sophomore year. I got pregnant two months later and because of the pregnancy I couldn't continue school. Edward graduated on time and became a CPA for a big firm in New York City. I was going to go back to school at that point and send Eddie to daycare but then I found out I was pregnant again. Edward was of course ecstatic that we were having another child but I was bitter. I didn't want to keep putting my life on hold for him and his plans. I love my kids but unplanned pregnancies are never convenient.

When Vanessa turned two I went back to school and I graduated two years ago. I have a degree in English but have yet to do anything with it. I'm a full time stay at home mom, even though my kids aren't at home full-time. Edward thinks it's best for our family if I'm a housewife and mother full-time so I can be available for my kids and husband at all times.

I love Edward, I truly do but he's stubborn and old-fashioned. His mother was a stay at home mom and so he feels I should be as well. I was fine with it until last year, when Vanessa started Kindergarten. I am itching to go to work, to use the degree I waited so long to acquire, but he doesn't want me to. So here I sit, every day, reading magazines and trying to fit in with all the women's social groups of the Paramus area. I don't do it very convincingly. All these women come from money and are comfortable being ladies of leisure and I'm not. I didn't grow up wealthy like Edward and his family. My father is chief of Police in Forks and my mother is a Kindergarten teacher in Jacksonville, FL, I never got anything handed to me, until I married Edward and I still don't feel entirely comfortable with it.

At five-thirty three Edward walked in the door calling out the same greeting he always did.

"I'm home, everyone!"

I could hear the kids running through the hallway to the stairs and then they came flying down the stairs.

"Daddy!" Vanessa shouted.

"Hi, Pumpkin! How was your day?"

"Great! I have to show you my cool whale after dinner. Mom said it's beautiful!"

"Dad! I already finished my fractions homework and I'm half done with my history homework! Can we play a game after dinner?"

"We'll see about that. It is a school night after all," Edward responded.

I could hear him getting closer to the kitchen. I shut the magazine and left it in the middle of the table, he hated to see me doing something as unproductive as reading a magazine.

"Hey Babe," he greeted.

"Hi. How was work?" I asked, standing and walking towards him. He held out his arms and I embraced him tightly. He planted a kiss on the top of my head.

"Good. My workload is starting to get a little ridiculous with all our clients wanting us to check their year end financials. How was your day?"

"Okay. I stayed in today and did laundry and cleaned up the house a bit. Thanksgiving is going to sneak up on me otherwise and I want the house in pristine condition for when your family comes."

"Where's Elena?" he asked. Elena was the kids' nanny; she usually was getting ready to leave when he got home.

"It's Thursday. She's off today. I forgot that too actually. I had to take the kids to the grocery store with me after school."

"I see. What's for dinner?" he asked grabbing a beer from the fridge.

"Chicken Parmesan."

"What did I do to deserve you?" he asked, smiling.

"Oh, who knows? I think you just got lucky that day I walked into Biology and the seat next to yours was empty," I teased.

"I sure did," he whispered.

He put his beer down on the counter and wrapped his arms around my waist. He pulled me to him and kissed me softly letting his hands run up and down my back. It made me feel weak that he still had this effect on me after twelve years. I loved him even if he was controlling and a pompous jerk sometimes. I pulled away feeling defeated and began to pull the dishes out of the cupboard.

I set the table and he went upstairs to check on the kids. When dinner was ready I called them all downstairs and we sat down to yet another happy dinner. The kids and Edward chattered on about their days and I just sat and listened half-heartedly. I nodded and smiled and commented at the appropriate times but I wasn't completely there. Edward noticed and would glance up at me every once in awhile, trying to meet my eyes. I avoided his questioning eyes as long as I could. When dinner was done and we sent the kids off to play for awhile Edward asked me what was wrong.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward asked, concern filling his voice.

"I'm just tired, Edward. I haven't been feeling well lately."

"Maybe you should go to the doctor. Maybe your pregnant?" he asked hopefully. We have been casually trying for another lately. Edward wants four kids and I want what Edward wants. We weren't really trying very hard, I wasn't tracking or taking temperatures daily but we weren't exactly preventing either. My period was a couple of days late but I was never regular so I didn't give it much thought.

"I don't think I am but I suppose I could take a test."

"Make a doctor's appointment please. If you're not feeling well and you don't think you're pregnant I don't want you getting sick."

"I'll try to get in tomorrow during the day. Okay?"

"You better. I don't want my number one girl getting sick," he joked.

I hated when he called me that, like I was one of his possession and not his wife, his equal.

We finished cleaning up the kitchen and joined the kids in the living room to play a game of "Go Fish" before they had to go to bed. It was another end to a perfectly normal day. Except I wasn't feeling so perfect anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Chapter Two! Hope you enjoy it!**

"Turkey with cheese, no mayo for Eddie and Sun Butter and Strawberry Jam for Vanessa. Are we ready to go?" I asked, handing them their lunches to put in their backpacks.

"I'm ready. Can I go wait in the car?" Eddie asked while slipping his bag on his shoulders.

"Sure, go right ahead. The door should be unlocked," I said.

I helped Vanessa button her coat and slip her Dora backpack on her shoulders. I wasn't sure why they insisted on putting their backpacks on before we got into the car when they would just take them right back off but they did. I guess it made them feel cool that they had their own stuff to carry. I turned her around to face me and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

"I love you, Mommy!" she cooed softly.

"I love you too, Peach," I whispered back to her. She smiled her bright smile that was strictly reserved for mommy and daddy only. It melted my heart. I may not have wanted kids when I got pregnant but they were my life and I couldn't imagine a day without them now.

After they were both buckled into the car I pulled out of the garage and turned the radio on to Radio Disney. Vanessa sang along to every song they played and Eddie kept telling her to be quiet the whole time. It was one of out better car rides. I dropped them off at school with kisses goodbye and warnings to be on their best behavior. Their were small groups of mothers standing around chatting and as usual I went back to the car without stopping to talk to anyone. I know I should make more of an effort at their school but I didn't want to try so early in the morning.

I drove the forty minutes back home and when I turned the corner on to our street I noticed a moving truck parked across the street from our house but there wasn't any other cars parked there. I knew they sold the house a couple of weeks ago but I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of new neighbors. I pulled the car into the driveway and saw Mrs. Lacey standing on her porch, leaning over the railing with a mug in her hand.

"Hello, Mrs. Lacey," I called to her from my driveway.

She looked up and waved back to me. She was always so friendly and warm. She had been living in that house for thirty years, the last ten alone after her husband passed away. She was only in her early sixties and very active. She would sometimes watch the kids for me when Elena wasn't available or had a day off. She had three grandkids of her own that lived in Maine and she didn't get to see them much, so she loved being around Eddie and Vanessa whenever she could.

"Good morning, Bella," she greeted, waving me over to talk.

"Have you met the new neighbor yet?" I asked her when I approached.

"Not officially, but I saw a man there the other day. He was moving in some small boxes but I don't know if he has a wife and kids," she replied.

"I guess we will find out soon enough," I said. I knew full well she would know by the end of the day if the man was married or had children, she would stand on that porch until the last box was unloaded. I walked back towards my house and walked in the front door.

I called my doctor and made myself an appointment for one-thirty in the afternoon. I would need to call Elena and let her know she had to pick up the kids from school today. First, I'd have to let Edward know. I dialed his work number.

"Hello, this is Edward Cullen," he answered on the first ring.

"It's Bella. I made an appointment for today but they couldn't get me in before one-thirty so I'm going to have to ask Elena to pick up the kids."

"Okay. Don't forget to call the school and inform them of the change so they don't give her a hard time."

"I will right after I confirm with Elena. I love you."

"I love you too, Bella. I'll see you tonight. Call me if anything serious happens at the doctor," he said before ending the call.

After I arranged the kids being picked up from school I pulled my day planner out of my purse. Four out of the five days of the school week I had stuff going on with various groups or some of the other mothers in the area. A lot of the kids at school came from this area so it was easy to be involved with the other families.

A quick look at the week told me I had a meeting at Vanessa's ballet studio. Every year there was a recital and the mother's took on the responsibility of putting together a brunch on the day of for all the parents, friends and relatives of the dancers. This was the one thing I could probably get out of easily but since Vanessa loved ballet I dealt with the snooty women I didn't like much.

I arrived at the ballet studio and saw there were already cars parked in the lot. Mercedes, Audis and Volvos were scattered throughout, although I couldn't really say much I was driving a Mercedes SUV myself. The show of wealth, my own included, disgusted me. I parked the car and checked my reflection in the mirror. I looked acceptable with my one carat diamond earrings in each ear, hair with the perfect amount of wave and light makeup. I was wearing a flared jeans, a long sleeve pink tee short, my white and pink puma sneakers and my black wool pea coat over it all. My 3 carat diamond princess cut solitaire shone on my ring finger and my diamond wedding band accented it perfectly. I grabbed my Coach Hobo bag and headed out of the car. I looked the picture of Suburban mom perfection even if inside I wasn't a perfect fit for this crowd, or at least not anymore.

I walked into the ballet studio and took my seat towards the back, waving hello and chatting with the women I passed. A few minutes into the meeting I heard the chair beside me scrape against the floor and I knew it was Leah.

"What did I miss?" Leah whispered.

"Nothing important. Just going over all the things that are needed for the recital brunch," I whispered back.

Leah Clearwater was the only mom that I have met so far that I was truly friendly with. She was a single mom to her six year old daughter Samantha. She was married but her husband died in Iraq when she was pregnant. After that she moved from Virginia to live here with her mother, Sue. She never dated and constantly said she had no interest in a meeting someone that would break her heart, her daughter was more important to her right now.

We had met three years ago at the park in our neighborhood. Our girls started talking and playing together and as a result we began talking to each other during these daily summer excursions. We were drawn to each other because neither of us really fit in. The difference was that Leah didn't try to fit in. She never felt the need to dress in the latest fashions or have the newest designer bag. She worked nights as a waitress so she could sleep when Samantha was in school and spend the afternoons and evenings with her. She was grounded in reality and knew that this perfect life everyone lived out here wasn't real, and that was what drew me to her. When we had functions, meetings, or events we stuck together. Leah never wanted to go to any of these things or be a part of this crowd, but like me she did it for her daughter.

When the meeting was over and everyone was assigned their contribution for the brunch, (FYI: mine was fruit salad.) Leah and I walked out to our cars together. Her Ford Focus stood out like a sore thumb in the lot full of luxury vehicles but she didn't care, I think it bothered me more that her sensible car was so out of place.

"Want to grab some lunch?" Leah asked. I checked my watch and saw it was already one.

"I can't. I have a doctor's appointment in thirty minutes," I told her.

"Everything okay?"

Yeah, I guess. I've just been feeling really run down lately and my period is a couple of days late but I took a test and I'm not pregnant."

"Hmm…is it a possibility that you might be?"

"Yeah, but I don't think I am. I think I might be coming down with the flu," I shrugged.

"Well, call me later if you get a chance. I'm off tonight." She gave me a hug and got in her car before I could answer.

I arrived at the doctor's office with minutes to spare and signed in. I was called immediately and they gave me a pregnancy test, confirming that I wasn't pregnant. I then was led to exam room three and waited for the doctor to enter. A moment later she knocked on the door softly and walked in.

"Mrs. Cullen, how are you today?" she asked.

"I'm fine," I answered meekly. Doctors always intimidated me but Dr. Phillips was great. She was young, friendly and had a very calming manner.

"Are you here for an annual, you just had one three months ago? Is everything okay?" she asked concerned.

"Well, my period is late but I took a test at home and they took one here and both were negative. Aside from that I've been feeling really run down lately and just tired," I explained.

"Well, you're not pregnant, which you know, and you have no infections of any sort. Other than the tired and run down feelings have you had any other symptoms of illness? Headaches or fevers? Vomiting?"

"No, nothing," I answered.

"What about stress? Has anything happened to make you feel more stressed out at home or with family? Are your finances in order? That's a huge concern of many nowadays."

That was loaded question that I wasn't sure how to answer. Nothing was wrong at home per se, but I definitely wasn't right lately.

"Nothing out of the ordinary has happened. Edward is still working, our finances are in order and the kids are healthy," I paused.

"Go on. Whatever you say stays here," she encouraged, realizing I was holding something back.

"Well, something isn't right with me. I can feel it but I can't explain it. I feel like lately I've been down, I don't want to say depressed but I've been re-evaluating my life and I'm not happy with the results," I admitted. I wasn't sure where I was getting the courage to say all of this aloud. Saying it meant admitting I wasn't right.

"I see…," she mused. She pulled out her prescription pad and began scribbling something down. After a couple of minutes she teared off the top sheet and handed it to me.

"Lexapro?" I read the prescription.

"It's an anti-depressant," she said. I started to nod my head, a smile forming on my lips. I wasn't depressed just in a funk. "It's a low dosage, mostly used to treat anxiety. It doesn't mean you're depressed but it might help. If after a week it doesn't help call me and we'll figure something out. Okay?"

"Okay," I said quietly.

"Good. If you have any questions at all, don't hesitate to call. Also, I'll have the receptionist give you a list of psychiatrists in the area, if you feel like you maybe need to talk to someone." I nodded and she smiled at me before walking out of the room.

I headed out of the exam room, stopping at the desk to grab the list from the receptionist. As I drove home my head was full of questions and thoughts. I didn't feel depressed and I just chalked up my new mood to the fact that I was home doing nothing of interest for a large part of the day since Vanessa started school. Could I really call it depression though? The doctor said it didn't mean that, it might just help with my mood; it would be worth it if it would make me feel like my old self again. I drove by CVS and decided not to fill the prescription right now, but it wasn't something I was 100% willing to deal with yet.

As soon as I walked in the door I called Edward to let him know how my appointment went, and to let him know I wasn't pregnant.

"Hello-," he answered.

"Edward," I cut him off. "It's me."

"Hey, love. Everything okay?"

"Yeah. I just got home from the doctor. I'm not pregnant." She thinks," I hesitated briefly. Did I want to tell him everything? Definitely not. "She thinks I'm coming down with something. She said to take some vitamin C and try to get extra rest," I lied. He wouldn't take the whole "anti-depressant" thing easily and I didn't want to deal with his constant worry and concern about my well-being.

"Well, try and get some rest. I don't want you getting sick or anything. I'll take the kids out this weekend so you can get some rest," he said.

"Thanks, that'd be great. I'm going to go take a nap before the kids get here. I love you."

"I love you too, Bella. I'll pick up pizza on the way home tonight. Sound good?" he asked.

"Sounds great," I responded, smiling. I loved him so much, I didn't know what was going on but I wanted to figure it out so I wouldn't have to feel this way anymore.

I wanted nothing more than to lie down and take a nap but there was so much to be done. I emptied the dishwasher and reloaded the dirty breakfast dishes that were in the sink. I had my hands under the running water washing a frying pan when I heard the doorbell ring. I dried my hands on the dish towel and walked to the front door wondering who it could be in the middle of the day.

I peeked out the window next to the door and saw a young guy standing at the door, his hands in his pockets. I wasn't sure who he was but I know we live in a safe neighborhood so I wasn't worried that he was going to attack me or anything. Naive I know but I lived a sheltered life since I moved from Phoenix all those years ago.

"Hello," I said, eyeing him curiously. He was about as tall as Edward, with brown hair and blue eyes. He was wearing old jeans and a dirty tee shirt. I couldn't imagine who it could possibly be.

"Um. Hi. I'm Joshua Greene. I just moved in across the street from you," he introduced himself.

"Hello. I'm Bella Cullen. Is there anything I can help you with?" I asked still wondering why he came over in the middle of the day.

"Yeah, I was wondering if I could use your phone. My home line isn't connected yet and my cell phone is dead and I can't find the charger," he said, looking embarrassed.

"Absolutely, come on in."

I led him to the kitchen so he could use the phone in there. I went to sit in the living room to wait and give him some privacy for his call. After a few minutes he came into the living room.

"Thanks. I appreciate that," he said.

"Anytime," I responded. He was a really good-looking guy, but he looked young. I wanted to ask him how old he was and if he was married but I thought I might come off as nosy. I'd have to ask

Mrs. Lacey, she would already know by now.

"Well, I better get back to unpacking. I'll see you around."

"Sure. Welcome to the neighborhood, Joshua."

"You can just call me Josh," he smiled.

I shut the door behind him and leaned against the door. I may be married and not have really dated anyone except Edward but I could tell a look of appreciation when I saw one. But the question is why it made me smile and my heart flutter to know that I had that effect on someone? I put the thoughts out of my mind when the phone rang. The caller ID showed that it was Alice, Edward's sister.

"Hello," I answered.

"Bella! I was just calling to give you all of our flight information," she blurted out excitedly without even saying hello.

"Oh good, you booked the flights already."

"Yep! Mom, Dad, Emmett, and Rose are flying into Newark International on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving at 5:35pm on US Airways flight seventy-two. Jasper and I will arrive the Saturday before Thanksgiving at Newark on Continental flight fourteen-thirty-four at 9:05am," she relayed the information while I jotted everything down.

Carlisle and Esme Cullen are Edward's mother and father, Emmett and Alice are is brother and sister. Rosalie is Emmett's wife and Jasper is Alice's husband. I get along great with everyone, except Rosalie. Long story for another day…maybe.

"Are we going to have to pick anyone up?" I asked her.

"Nope, everyone is getting rental cars," she said. "How is everything? How are the kids? I can't wait to see them," she squealed.

"Everything is fine. Kids are doing great and they are excited to see Aunt Alice, Uncle Jasper and everyone else. Vanessa said she wanted to go shopping with you," I laughed.

"Good, I'm glad she got some sense from her Auntie and didn't take after you in every sense." I laughed at her.

Alice was always trying to get me to go shopping with her. I had clothes, nice things, because I had to dress the part but not because I enjoyed it so much. I preferred old sweats and a tee any day. Once she even tried to online shop with me over the phone, that didn't go well and I ended up hanging up on her. She said my extensive wardrobe, closet space and hefty bank account were wasted on me but I would gladly give all of those things up.

"How's Jasper?" I asked changing the subject.

"He's great. He loves his new job at the museum. He's basically running the place but he ends up giving more tours than the tour guides do," she chuckled softly. "How's Edward? He never calls me anymore," she asked.

"He's fine. The end of the year is always busy for him."

"And you?"

"I'm fine," I said quickly.

"That didn't sound convincing. Are you sure you're fine?" she asked. Damn Alice and her perceptiveness.

Did I want to tell her about my potential downward spiral, if that was even what it could be called? I wanted to talk to someone about it and Alice was a good listener but she was also a gossip. If I told her she would tell Rosalie or Esme and then Edward would find out. I didn't need that yet.

"Just getting sick I think. Flu season is in full swing," I lied.

"If you say so," she replied. I could tell she didn't believe me but she wasn't going to press the issue. She knew I would talk to her when I was ready.

"So, how's the family?" I asked, knowing this would get her talking for awhile.

She filled me in on all things Cullen. Rosalie and Emmett were trying to conceive with no apparent luck yet; Carlisle and Esme were enjoying their retirement and using it as an opportunity to travel the world. I was sure I'd here all about her journeys when they came to visit. When I heard Elena walk in with the kids I said my goodbyes to Alice and hung up the phone.

I greeted the kids and we went through out usual evening routine, which consisted of Elena and I helping them with homework, projects and discussing how their days were. Although we didn't really need Elena she was a godsend most days. She was a young college student studying to be an elementary school teacher. So having the kids around to help with homework and school projects, even if it was only three days a week, was good for her and good for me. When the kids were all set up with their work she started a conversation.

"So, Mrs. Cullen how was your day?" she asked politely.

"It was good. Quiet, which I always appreciate. How about you? How are classes going this semester?"

"They are really good actually. I'm maintaining my A in all of them, even my Shakespeare class. Thanks so much for all your help with that. I have a term paper coming up soon that I may need to pick your brain for. If that's okay?"

"It sure is. You let me know when and I'll help you," I told her.

"Thanks. I'll let you know," she replied, smiling.

I left the kitchen table as Eddie interrupted to ask Elena a question about his homework. Edward would be home soon and I wanted to go talk to Vanessa before he got home. She was a daddy's girl to the core and once he walked in that door I never got my moment with her.

**A/N: Hope you liked it. Review, please!! Questions, comments, hate it, love it...let me know**


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